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In 1999 Celeste, a friend of mine, told me about Ann, a friend of hers, who had a terrible eating disorder commonly known as anorexia. Celeste said that Ann had been on "death's doorstep" dozens of times over the past years, had been in and out of intensive care, in and out of residential care facilities and off and on welfare. At that time Ann was in a somewhat stable condition and wanted a video to be made about her in the hope that it might deter others from becoming susceptible to this terrible disease. Celeste knew I was an amateur videographer and had come with me the year before to the AMMA, AMPS, and TBW Convention in Orange County, California.

I agreed to just one visit with Ann, who was then in a residential wing of a local hospital. My personal concerns were that I could not do justice to a topic so serious. I did not want to make this eating disease seem uncomplicated, especially by extracting or summarizing essential elements that should be left to medical professionals. Additionally, there was a concern that I would be so profoundly disturbed with her appearance that I couldn't allow myself to make a fair video story.

The first visit was the worst. Celeste tried to prepare me saying Ann was very thin but not emaciated as in the past. At the end of the visit I discovered that I wanted to learn more about the disease and try to help Ann accomplish her goal. My heart went out her her.

Over many months Celeste arranged for visits with Ann's primary doctor, her therapist and even an independent dentist who gave us a straightforward assessment of what he saw in her dental x-rays. Knowing that a camcorder could be somewhat disturbing during these examinations, I tried to be as inconspicuous as possible, so I did not bring artificial lighting

I lived with this project, off and on, for four years, filming Ann intermittently in her residential care facilities, hospitals and doctors' offices and during therapy sessions. I researched eating disorder websites, checked sources in libraries and talked with professionals. I revisited my footage many times, extracting the best in terms of sound, camera and lighting. I showed the unedited video to friends with the goal of them helping me to find a theme.

Almost everyone who saw the footage was fascinated by Ann's story, but the bigger question was why Celeste maintained her friendship with Ann over the years. I asked Celeste if we might explore this further. Finally we came to the conclusion that Ann's story would also be Celeste's story as Ann's caregiver over those many years. That's when I concentrated on showing Celeste's life as it was impacted by her friendship with Ann.

On January 16, 2003 Ann died.

Celeste and I went to the funeral and we agreed to try to finish the video. It was still months later that I became passionate about finishing the project. I cut and edited, sliced and diced for days. I took my first edition to friends for further direction. More cuts, more edits

I used my Sony 1-chip TRV 10 that I bought about six ago and still serves me well. My editing was done on Macrosystems KRON. I discovered by accident the website Freeplay Music Inc and selected one melody that I felt set the right mood.Celeste did her voice over, when not on location, in my office using a separate microphone.

Knowing that the 2004 Moviemakers Convention in Victoria B.C. was soon approaching I made a version especially for competition. I didn't have strong hopes that it would be highly considered, so I was naturally very surprised and pleased that it garnered Best Entry by an AMPS member and the Oscar Horovitz Memorial Top Award by Amateur Movie Makers Association (AMMA)

My plans now are to further fine-tune the video using the judges' wonderfully useful comments and critiques. I will investigate submitting it to short film festivals around the US. I searched with Google and was amazed by the possibilities. This should be good news to other amateur videomakers in getting their works appreciated by wider audiences.

- Joyce Axelrod

The film was selected to represent her country as part of the USA programme for the 2005 UNICA Festival - where nations compete.